This bus isn’t slowing down

As one of my dearest friends would say “you’re on a struggle bus.” And I have been and acutely aware that this bus isn’t slowing down! I actually wrote a post about it and while good to write, isn’t necessarily something I need to re-share as I have covered the challenging bits in previous posts. 

One of the things I learned in recovery was gratitude and active gratitude. That is what is really resonating with me right now. I have build the best team I can imagine. Transparency of my medical background has allowed my reality to be accepted and worked with. 

I can’t quite express how lovely it is to have this amazing team of smart, talented women who are pros in their areas. We are organized, kept on task, and have set doable production and by extension sales goals. My studio manager, a former intern, has been my paid assistant while she finished school and is now on board full time for the work week we’ve set. 

Today when we were in the elevator doing something— she is so capable!!— I looked at her and it became very very clear that the reason I and my business are still here is because of her and the help she gave me right after my rear end. Of course I let her know that. But that is the case. 

My business feels like a family- we all collaborate, disagree, have on and off days, but at the end of it get the job done to the best of our abilities. Even though we’ve had a tough year due to an order mishap we are still growing! 

Currently my business manager is focusing on an outside project and my studio manager is going to go on a 2 week residency. I’m excited for both of them! I’m also excited for me- I’m getting my favorite thing, a large chunk of time  to finish moving into my apartment and find my pattern again. 

I work best creatively when I have this — large swaths of time with no appointments, meetings, obligations. I can get into my curious head and muddle through designs and pull my paint brushes out and create. 

The funny thing about creatives, or at least this creative, is I get twitchy if I haven’t made anything in a while. As I sit back and am so thankful for the life and business I and we have built I wonder if my ennui streak could simply be boiled down to needing to make some art! 

That’s the thing, we are individual but we exist best in communities. I am so incredibly thankful for all the communities that support me and I in turn support back.